evaluation

Just like a wave, there's ups and downs.

Last July of this year, I received my midyear performance evaluation. Basically it's a grading system wherein you collect points from Productivity (50 points), Technical Capability (30 points), Cooperativeness (10 points) and Work Method and Discipline (10 points).

Depending on this criteria, at stake is my salary increase for this year and a chance to get promoted. Even though I am not aware of what score it will take to push me into promotion or how does the management convert the points into salary increase. It's a secret formula derived from I don't know who and why. To be safe, I need a high score. The higher I get, the greater is my increase and perhaps the more chances of being promoted.

It's one of the greatest source of my frustration for the past couple of months.

I think last year was not a good year for me performancewise. I got a lot of bugs for the software modules I own. But then again, who doesn't? I am trying to improve, though the evaluation is for last year, not this year. I only started to focus on my weaknesses just when I realized that my software engineering career is not where I wanted it to be. Only late this year that I want growth and maximal posible improvement. Last year was an experimental stage. And experiments often accompany failures, you don't usually get it right at first try.

Oh yes. Then why be frustrated? That's because I think the "experiment" has been three full years already. He he he. If I was not getting any substancial results from this career, then I might as well shift to a different path. And three years is long enough to experiment, isn't it?

I gave myself an 88 of a possible 100. From my college days, a grade of 1.0 requires 93%. And just like in college, I am not the one to give myself a grade. He he he. My manager gave me an 86. And I know, from these results that I am not progressing as much as I want to. I was thinking of a career shift already. Last year I had an 84, this year 86. If I was to follow the trend, I need 4 more years to surpass the 93% mark. That's a whole lot of time and it doesn't even mean it's going to be that way. As I've said the scores are to be interpreted by the management and it's a secret formula that they are using. Nothing definite.

I was lost. It's not so easy to shift to a different career or a different company. It's not so hard neither, especially if it's really time to change. The most difficult part of it all is that my decisions will certainly affect my family. It's not just my career that is on the line.

How could I quit my job now for frustrations when my brother and my sister needs me for their schooling. When only 50% of our house is constructed. Wrong timing.

Frustrated. Lost. Struggling.

I turned down an offer from a good friend to join him in his new company for almost twice my current salary. I did not entertain the thoughts of working abroad for better career opportunities. I wanted to stay and help this company. Unfortunately, I felt I wasn't competitive enough to be a software engineer.

Plan B. I'm going back to school for my Master's degree in Electronics. While in school, I'll take a refresher's course to prepare for the ECE licensure exam. I just have to wait for a little less than two years for my sibings to finish their studies.

Having a backup plan helped ease my frustrations. If I were not to progress as a software engineer, why force it? After a couple of weeks, I begin to feel relieved. I pressured myself too much. Perhaps I was expecting a lot. I started to take it easy.

Back to that midyear evaluation last July, after my manager sent the results he invited us to talk about it for comments, concerns, rants and objections. Back then, I was too frustrated to talk it over. I wanted to just forget all about it and focus on Plan B.

Yesterday, two months after the evaluation period. Again, we were invited by our manager to discuss the results. We can gain a lot of insights and improvements from knowing our strengths and weaknesses, I think that's the most important goal of the evaluation (aside from the salary increase, he he). I agreed, I think I'm over the frustration stage already. I have taken things in a different perspective, I think I am already about to welcome a career shift in two years time so why not discuss the evaluation, learn from it and move on.

I got the promotion. Surprised and overjoyed. I was too busy being frustrated and thinking of Plan B when I should have just focused on what I have started for this year - improving my software know-how.

Was I just too impatient? Perhaps I was thinking too hard and making it too hard on myself.

I learned to take things easy. I started frustrated and then lost and struggling.. learned to take it easy and ended with a smile.

It's time to celebrate. We'll have ice cream on the house tonight. ;)