After my self-imposed mandatory break, I found my second wind. I had a great time running the long stretch of Kalayaan flyover going to The Fort. There I found a few marathoners to talk and chat with as we tackle the flyover and the hills of Taguig City. One was a first timer, and the other two were like experienced buddies. It is a lot better to run with a company than to run alone. As I told the three guys, all of whom I have not met before the race, "
Apat na tayong tulong-tulong.. pag nde pa tayo nag-qualify!" Who would understand what you feel and what you are going through? Your fellow runners going the exact same conditions like you do, right? Just to go and try to tackle each step of the way with someone beside you makes you a lot stronger. (The Milo marathon handbook explicitly states that fact: You have a higher chance of completing the distance with a race buddy.) And with a thousand strong runners fighting the same fight, there are a lot of friends to win out there. To encourage. And to be encouraged.
Taguig City
Unfortunately, I fell behind that pack of four when my knee support unfastened. It was all wet and heavy. The constant movement from my legs and the accumulated amount of water made the knee support unable to hold together. Its locking system failed often along the route. If I fasten it tighter, my legs could not breathe. I fasten it loose and it does not hold for long. I could have thrown it away somewhere in Taguig for all of my frustrations with it.
Only the fact that I paid a thousand pesos for it last year and that I wore it as a precautionary measure to help ease the pain on my right knee (I suspect an ITB syndrome) prevented me from doing so.
The newbie marathoner among the three waited for me and simply said the other two runners were running much faster than his preferred pace. I ran with him for about a kilometer until he slowed down. I know that the long distance is now getting into him, slowing him more and more the farther he goes. I know that I will have that same pull later on. We runners all experience that. It caught up with him at the 26th kilometer, it has already started to catch up with me before the 21st. It is the arms of the long marathon route extending, grabbing and pulling down your ankles and feet. It drags you down. Somewhere along that route, it eventually teams up with the wind blowing mildly on your ears. Where your mind and spirit says 'Run', the wind soothes your soul and serenades you to slow down and rest. It's much like the slow Sunday songs playing on radios intending to relax your soul all day long after six tiring days. When you've been running for more than 2 hours, it becomes so natural to fall prey to these invisible forces. The marathon is not just a grueling physical test. On the latter stages, it exposes the deepest desires of your mind and spirit (things that aren't visible to the eyes) -- how much are you willing to give for your cause?
Makati City
The second wind I got after my banana and chocolate break did not last long. Going down the Kalayaan flyover to Makati, my fifth flyover climb so far on this marathon route, I rushed down with a mild pain on my calf. The cramps crept up again on my poor tired right calf. It has cramped for the past few weeks during my runs. And race day is no exception. When problems start to appear, they tend to pour on you like rain (and in this year's Milo's case, like storm).
After chasing a few marathoners ahead of me, they now start to catch up leave me behind. Worse yet, I kept on pulling my underwear down. The left crotch up around the leg area just below the left butt got chafed. How come these problems were not published on the Milo runner's manual? (That's not a rant, that's a joke. Hehehe.)
I figured the race now shifts to individual toughness. At the last ten kilometers of the marathon, the battle becomes personal. It turns into a battle within. Do you stop now when you feel all the pains in your toes, feet, calves, legs, lower back, shoulders, neck and arms? Everything seems to hurt now. Do you push through? Or do you stop? How tough are you? What is your spirit made of? Brittle spirits start to crawl under the heat and all the pains. Tougher ones tend to face the hurdles head on.
As for me, I stopped at the end of the long hydration table. Drank a few cups of cold water served generously along the 32nd kilometer and pulled off another plastic from my running shorts. Nerissa prepared a small zipped plastic container filled with Omega pain killer ointment. I put all of the ointment on my right calf and gently massaged the poor cramping muscles. Time check: 2:40 hours. I still have one full hour to qualify. I thought 3:39 hours will be sweet enough for me at this stage of the race. Time to get going.
Pasay City
I reached Makati Avenue and later on passed by Pasong Tamo and continued at my tired pace to the LRT station in Taft Avenue. I am so tired now and even though I felt like running at a 5:00 minute pace, my running watch indicated otherwise. I am now in danger of missing the 3:45 qualifying time if I continue at this slow and tired 6:00++ minutes per kilometer. Against the wishes and pleads of my energy-depleted body, I tried to run a bit faster.
Time check: I have covered 35kilometers already, I need to run the last 7 kilometers in 42 minutes. I already threw away the hopes of a 3:39 finish, if I can do it in 3:45 then it will be good enough and in no way would that be any less sweeter.
But when will this run ever going to end? Computations and different methods of calculations all lead to the same conclusion - any unnecessary stop at this point means I do not qualify to the Finals in December. The pull of the road right on my ankles and the whisper of the wind in my ears to stop for a while and rest doubly intensified. If I go all out and still fail to qualify, would it not be nicer to just take it slow and walk a while until my lungs and legs have recuperated? Anyway Milo marathon will still be here next year waiting for me, right?
It's definitely nice. But it's not what I'm here for. Milo will be back sure but my heart won't be able to take another golden opportunity to slip away. I have already been a victim of depression -- once failing to qualify after long weeks of training and running. I can endure the physical pain of perhaps another 7 kilometers more. But I just cannot endure another year of rejection. At least not without a fight. Not without giving it my best effort yet. Not by surrendering to the calls of my weakened body. I am not going to quit now.
Manila City
Turning right to Roxas Boulevard coming from Sen. Gil Puyat Avenue, I got mixed emotions. I am happy that I have reached Roxas at last. Though I really am troubled for I feel like I have nothing to offer anymore. I am losing it already. The burning hopes of finishing this marathon wanes from a fiery torch to a burning flame to a dying candle. But I kept on running. No more inspirational talk from within, the body is weakened, the spirit is waning, my not-so-hopeful eyes are all on the splashes of water on the never ending road instead of the bright lights up ahead.
Then a fellow runner asked how many more kilometers to go? "
Nakakapagod nu? Ilan pa?" I replied that there are still about 4 kilometers more to go. Maybe 5. He also rhetorically asked "
Ang layo pala nu?" I just nodded and remarked that after the left turn to Sotto Road we will be on our way back to SM Mall of Asia for the finish line.
At Vicente Sotto Road, I found myself dying for water. The rain has temporarily stopped and I also took the time to rest a bit and stretch my almost lifeless arms. Time check: 3:20 hours. If I can somehow run at 6:00 minutes per kilometer, then I can still make it. Only 4 kilometers separate me from my Milo qualifying dreams. Hang on Jayson! 3:45 hours is still manageable.
The next two kilometers after that hydration stop felt quite amazing. Somehow, someway, I managed to still run as fast as I could to meet the 21K runners also approaching MOA for their last few kilometers. The mood turned festive from lonely, from despairing to hopeful, from lifelessness and dullness to activity and colors. It was my dream that is still pushing me to fight despite the fatigue and the pains. And now that a lot more runners are running for the same Finish Line, I feel rejuvenated.
Finish Line
Then the half marathoners turned right but we were instructed to still run along Macapagal. The separation hurt my cause. Activity and festivity were taken away and once again, I find myself complaining of exhaustion. That hopeless question popped up again in my head "When will this run ever going to end?"
Thankfully, we turned right going to MOA complex. I just passed by the KM 40 marker and I still have 13 minutes and 2+ kilometers to go. There is still hope if I can just hang on some more.
Inside MOA complex, I still have 7 minutes but I still haven't found KM 41. Maybe I wont make it after all.
Turning left before the Seaside Boulevard where all these run started and ends, precious 5 minutes are still left for me to reach the finish line and qualify. There is no time to rest. Push. Push. push. But I really have nothing more to push.
Last turn and Seaside Boulevard at last. 3 more minutes. The clock at the arc reads 3:42:xx but I am still about 500 meters away from it. My mind suddenly became clear. All these years of running, mostly for that hope of a Milo marathon qualifying time, now hangs on the last 2 or so minutes of that huge digital Timex atop the finish arc and on the stretch of the last 500 meters of asphalt road that I still need to run. This is the moment of truth. That inexplicable moment that I will cherish in my thoughts for all of my life.
At the final straight of the route, my Milo marathon journey unfolds. I locked my eyes on the timer and summoned all that I have into one final push to the finish.
200 meters.. 3:43.. Oh no. Will it slip away?
100 meters.. 3:44.. It is definitely slipping away..Will I make it?
10 meters.. 3:44:30 cameramen shouting to me "Go Kaya pa 3:45 yan!"
Finish at last.. 3:44:37.. by the skin of my teeth.. I made it.. Yehey!!!!! Isn't it funny how the finish line separated two different runners in me? The one just about to cross it is very energetic unleashing all his reserves to finally reach that coveted line. Yet the other one who just crossed the line is all wasted and tired with nothing left but his dreams finally realized.
